Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Having A Hard Time

Hi. I thought it might help me to blog how Im feeling. I been having a rough time and been doing alot of crying. Im in the begining stage of breaking up with my boyfriend. I havent gotten alot of my stuff out. Im hurting so bad cause I cared about him but he just didnt care about me. All he ever did was scream at me and alot of abuse. We been together for 7 years. I am so scared what going to happen to my life. I dotn want to be alone but Im sick of the abuse. Its always my fault. I cant talk or ask questions.  I have major depression and ocd and Fibromyalgia and Diabetes. He always said he understood it but he didnt. There were good things about him too. We had alot in common and he would carry my groceries but he has always put me down. He makes me feel like Im a bad person. This was my 1st boyfriend. I have never had to go through a break up before. Im terrified. Am I doing the right thing? He lies to me all the time and I always come last. I feel Im not worth a thing.. Im going to go for now.
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3 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 7:05 PM

    Sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through this. Honey, you are stronger than you think you are, and you WILL get through this. No one deserves to be abused and put down. You deserve to have someone treat you like the precious gift that you are.

    Love and hugs,

    Mary/"Munch"

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  2. RoniJune 22, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Hi my precious Jen,
    I am feeling really bad for you but I think you are on the right track... Men can be so nice but in the next breath, he can turn into a nightmare... It seems so hard right now, but I think that as time goes by, you will get better and better and the abuse will go away... I am here for you Jen... All my love and support... Love ya...

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  3. Jen LJune 23, 2011 at 10:22 PM

    Mary,

    Thank You so much for your comments. Everyone says Im strong. I try to be but sometimes its hard. It takes alot of energy to keep fighting. I just always felt I deserved all of this. I know I shouldnt write all of this but it is helpping me get out my pain. I have a history of pretending everything is ok and that dont turn out very good.

    Love,
    Jen

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